We are told as children not to judge a book by it’s cover but sometimes we forget about this lesson and do it anyway. Sometimes we are correct and other times we are completely wrong. Let me explain where this is all coming from.
I have regular appointments at a medical facility in a nearby town to pick up my medications & get a quick medical check and after so long you get to know the people who work there and tend to get comfortable and relax to be yourself a bit more when you see someone on a frequent basis. You also learn who the friendly people are and who the assholes are over time so you like some people more than others naturally. With me so far?
Well, I got a pretty big shock this past week that I just cannot let go so I’m going to write about it because me being me.. I plan to do something about the experience I had because I don’t want someone else to be treated like I was and I will tell you more about that in a minute.
It takes quite a lot to insult me but the person who I feel is one of the sweetest people there managed to do it. You see, as my regular Readers know, I am a Vine Member and have boxes and boxes of expensive high end clothing, still with tags on them, still brand new but tried on specifically for review purposes and put away for a later date so it isn’t that I am clothing poor and it isn’t that I don’t have “things” that I need.
The thing is, I am operating a small homestead and at the time of my appointments I have just been out tending to the animals and dealing with the muddy grounds as it is right now and well, you don’t wear a $100 dress to do that stuff, you wear your farming bibs that keep you warm and dry at this time of the year. Warmth & protection is the key.
On my appointment days I usually work outside until it’s time to hop in the car and go, then when I get back home I finish up my rounds and that’s become the routine.
There is no shame in being dirty from a day’s work. That’s what I have always lived by and always will and I have never felt that shame until this past week when someone had the nerve to say something to me about my appearance. She offered me a ticket to a clothing & personal bank and told me that I could get some “personal care stuff that.. “you know.. people USE to be clean. Like SHAMPOO, SOAP and Stuff.. ya know.. stuff people NORMALLY use”
What the actual hell?
I know it’s an Ego thing and I fully admit it. I was stunned and just turned around and walked out but not before she slipped those tickets into my bag. I got home and saw those tickets and I have been steamed ever since. I don’t need that! Give them to someone else who does, I told her but she slipped them in anyway. She has no clue that I probably make 15x what she does in a year and have the tax forms to prove it but of course I don’t carry my tax papers to doctor’s visits lol. I choose to live very modestly and you’d be shocked to see how modestly but it’s by choice. I am a natural Giver not a Receiver but never ever talk about the people I assist because that’s private. I am not what she assumed I am.
Being looked down on like that by someone I really liked didn’t feel very good. Before you say that she was just being a concerned & caring person, I would normally agree with that but her tone of voice was so judgmental and toxic that it was unmistakable. Yes, my work bibs were muddy, yes my shoes had dried mud and my beautifully colored purple & blue hair was a mess and in a ball on top of my head not looking very neat at all but I don’t normally go in there like that, just the past few weeks because it’s winter and I’m very busy right now. I assure you that her comments were not out of concern, they were filled with judgmental toxicity that was so out of character for this girl.. I thought…
People have bad days, I get that but don’t target other people with it because trust me, they don’t forget things like this. I will never feel the same about this girl again and will never be as friendly as I was before. If I had seen her talk to someone else this way I would feel exactly the same way I do right now because I will never forget that look on her face or that tone to her voice. Nobody likes being judged unfairly. That is what really kinda stung because she is like.. the sweetest person you could meet. If she had the rep for being a raging bitch I might not even have given it a second thought.
I always make a point to recognize when my Ego has flared up and she brought it out with this 5 minute encounter and I haven’t been able to let it go which is partly why I am sharing this. I have never been one to judge outside appearances or the way someone is dressed and it just pisses me off when I see someone do that.
So for my next appointment in a couple weeks I will be walking in there wearing elaborate clothing, hair & makeup perfect, and have a copy of my 2020 tax records on me not to gloat but to teach this person a lesson. If she is making other people feel like she made me feel than she needs to be taught a lesson about how to treat your brothers & sisters and perhaps it was meant for me to show her this. I will also leave her a link to this article. “Hey girl! 🙂 “
If someone needs help it’s a wonderful thing to offer help, but never do it in a way that makes them feel shame or embarrassment. I will always have that pride I inherited from my Grandma and she really left a burn mark on it. I can only imagine how anyone who actually needed assistance felt to be treated like that. It’s no wonder society has lost it’s sense of Pride.
I have spent a lifetime believing that there is no shame in getting dirty from an honest day’s work, male or female, and I have worked “like a man” many many many days of my life but I still have a very girly side too. I just don’t care to impress anyone because I felt no shame… until now. I told my Partner when I came out that I went in there to get a refill of a common medicine, not to get a date and got looked down on for how I was dressed and he seemed to think that I caused the problem by not cleaning up before I went in so he & I have had several words about this all week.
So in closing, words, looks, tone of voice, & facial expressions can hurt people so be extra careful when you are out & about doing your daily life and you meet someone and start forming judgments on them. It’s the oldest Rule in the Book but people are sometimes forgetful and need to gently be reminded.
Okay, so with all of that off my chest, I want to add that I have not forgotten about the Series on Abundance. I have several articles nearly finished and I am putting them out collectively so future Readers will have access to all 7 articles connected at once. This wasn’t the original plan but I decided to do it this way for good reason, you will soon see. I also nearly have my Angel series nearly completed too. Sorry guys.. I just got busy and got behind but I will get caught up soon.