When you don’t have the freedom to just be yourself or live what you feel is your normal expression of life you are in a dangerous Self-Inflicted Prison and it can have drastic effects on the quality of your life.
People spend way too much time worrying about what other people think about them and that is an unhealthy habit that Society has taught us to conform to. Everyone worries about what other people will think of them and even worse, they fear what will be said about them for just being themselves and that in itself is like living in a Prison and it takes away our individual freedoms and keeps us “in line” with what Society considers to be “Normal”.
Think about how many people are in a depression or feeling suicidal right now because they feel alone and out of place because they are different from others and just don’t fit in with the people they are around.
It’s not just Adults either, think of how many kids are Homeschooling right now because they are bullied so badly they can’t even get an Education in a School because of it. I am all for Homeschooling if that is what the Family chooses to do but no child should ever be forced into it because of Bullies. The Schools don’t do nearly enough to protect these kids and this is a whole new level of pain for the Parent to see their child being abused so taking the child out of school seems to be the only option in many cases.
So what message does this give the Bullies? What message does this give the bullied Child?
Of course the Bullies feel like they have won and move on to the next Victim once the child is removed from the situation. The child who has been bullied will usually suffer the impact of this to a certain degree for a lifetime because they have had it embedded in their subconscious that something is wrong with them when there really isn’t.
It happens to us as Adults too. We fear being ourselves and expressing our thoughts, fears, creativity, and many other forms of self-expression because we do care what people think. Especially in adults who were bullied as children there is always going to be a part of them that fears doing anything that will cause them to face ridicule so they repress the unique & amazing parts of themselves because they fear being labeled as different, because people who are different often get negative labels.
Consequently, adults who have never been bullied feel this exact same way a lot of times too because they have gotten good at doing what is expected of them by society and if the real them is not who they appear to be it could cause them they exact same stress to think about being who they really are, maybe even more than people who are used to it because they have never experienced that side of things.
This is all a cycle or pattern that we all get into that breaks down our individual Free Will. So how do we escape it?
Quit giving a ____.
Seriously! You can start out small and work towards total freedom of expression but just not caring what anyone thinks.
Don’t dive off the deep end at first but bit by bit you can slowly come out of your shell and make that choice to take your own Life & Reality back from those who are in control of you.
MINI LESSON: Think of something about you that you are reluctant to express. Do you like to draw? Sing? Tap Dance? Write Poetry? Have some sort of special gift? Some just have an “alter ego” that they become to specific audiences and we commonly refer to this as our “Public Self” & “The Real Me”.
Think about that part of you that is inhibited and real and answer the following questions.
- Why am I worried that I will be made fun of?
- What am I specifically afraid people will say about me?
- What has happened in the Past that gave me this fear?
- What is the worst thing that could happen if people see this side of me?
- What is the best thing that could happen if people see this side of me?
- Will those I care about me most reject me? If so, will I be better off to be rejected by these people?
At the end of the day, now more than ever before in history It’s Okay To Just Be Yourself. You don’t have to please anyone and as long as your aren’t harming anyone you have every right to live as you desire.
I chose to write this article specifically because of a Client I had last year, Thom was a Professional Businessman in every sense of the word, he had no relaxation in life but had been very successful in Business & Finances but all he really wanted to do was move to Arizona and start a Mediation, Yoga & Spiritual Wellness Clinic and run around in loose fitting white clothing all day and just be happy.
At the time I took him on as a Client he had a secret alter ego and was giving Healings online under a fake name for free because he didn’t care about money he had that, He was just doing it because it’s what he felt Called to do. He said that was the Real Thom.
He called me this morning to let me know his Clinic was opening the doors tomorrow morning and I am so happy for him! It took him a year of gradual changes in mini-steps just like I taught him and he met his Goal that we set right down to the exact day.
He said one thing that kind of tickled him about the entire journey was that yes, he did lose a few people in his life because they thought he “lost it” but most all of his friends & family were happy to see him so happy and loved what he was doing.
He said that throughout the process he realized what I told him was 100% spot on… the people who did not accept & support the Authentic Him were people who were too afraid to expose the Authentic Them. He said he feels sorry for the people who were removed from his life because they were not Healed and he was right, people who are Healed of their own past traumas, Egos, and prejudices will be triggered by those who are Healed.
So what I want you to do is take those baby steps into being more Authentic, quit caring so much what people think because it will never do you or your Soul any good. Nobody else has the right to prevent you from being who you really are and most of the time our biggest fears are in our own brains and unfounded. You may be really surprised at who all supports you.
You have to look at the person behind any criticism you receive because it’s likely that you are dealing with a person who is themselves not living the life they want and it makes them jealous so they lash out at you. At the end of the day you do not need anyone who doesn’t support you.